SHE NEEDS YOU TO BE SUPPORTIVE AND LISTEN
It's okay to be scared. You both are. First things first. Bring her to Hand 'n Hand Pregnancy Help Center for a free and confidential pregnancy test to confirm your suspicion. Learn about all of the options available to you. Talk about your options with each other. The decisions you make now will always be with you. Take your time and seek help from a caregiver at Hand 'n Hand before you choose.
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO
- Listen to her. She will want to talk about what she is feeling.
- Remain calm. Even if you're scared, offer your support at all times.
- Share your feelings. It's okay to express your emotions.
- Gather all the facts. You both have options for the future.
WHAT NOT TO DO
- Don't take off. If you disappear, she is going to feel abandoned and alone.
- Avoid pressuring her. Help her make a healthy decision for her and your baby.
- Don't forget. You are an equal part of this situation.
She has three options available to her
- Parenting (Single Parenting; Co-Parenting; Married Parenting)
We are here to answer your questions and help guide you while making tough decisions.
CAN SHE ABORT MY BABY EVEN IF I SAY NO?
It's hard to believe, but you don't have any legal rights when it comes to your baby being aborted. It is the mother's decision. But, you can make a difference in her decision by your attitude. If you are there for her emotionally and are supportive, she may be more willing to explore other options.
WHAT ABOUT ADOPTION AND DO I HAVE ANY RIGHTS?
As the birthfather, you do have rights related to adoption. State laws determine your options for providing input into the adoption and you must be notified. If you do not support her choice for adoption, you have a long-term legal responsibility to support your child. If you are no longer in a relationship with the birthmom and she is making an adoption plan, her adoption counselor will contact you about terminating your parental rights.
Hand 'n Hand does not provide adoption services but we have referrals available to local adoption agencies.
CAN A DNA PATERNITY TEST REALLY PROVE I'M THE FATHER?
Yes, DNA tests can prove whether or not you are the father with nearly 100% accuracy. A sample of blood is withdrawn from you and the baby (and usually the mother) and tested to see if the baby's DNA matches the DNA from the parents.
DON'T SUSPECT FOR A MOMENT THAT THIS WILL ALL GO AWAY AND BE FORGOTTEN. IT CAN NEVER BE THAT WAY. YOU KNOW THAT FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, YOU HAVE CREATED LIFE. NOW THIS LIFE IS IN YOUR HANDS. LET US HELP. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!